Al Qaedian Democracy
Jon Turley notes that Al Qaeda in Syria has set up a complaint line for people living under its rule in Northern Syria. He suggests the following prerecorded message for callers:
If a loved one has been mistakenly beheaded, press or say one.
If we have thrown acid on a girl who was not trying to learn to read, press or say two.
If we have raped your son after capture on the battlefield, press or say three.
If your loved one was mistakenly killed for telling fortunes or being a genie, press or say four.
If you are a homosexual who needs to schedule a hanging date, press or say five.
If you would like to hang a homosexual or execute a non-believer, press or say six.
If you child was mistakenly given a vaccination and would like his or her arm cut off to protect against the Western conspiracy, press or say seven.
If you are a male and a suicide bomber who has not been given a target of innocent civilians or Western relief workers, press or say eight.
If you have seen a piece of art or historic or religious work that we have not destroyed, press or say nine.
Thank you for calling the Al Qaeda complaint line and remember, if you are complaining, you are an abomination in the eyes of Allah and deserve death.
Good thing the U.S. government was ready to help these folks against the Syrian government. On the other hand, I guess a little democracy is better than no democracy at all—unless you happen to live under a benevolent dictator (not Assad). In that case, Al Qaedian democracy probably not the prime option.